The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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