3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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