He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
