im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
