Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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