We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude i'm inner monologue high
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
