They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
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