you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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