like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
