Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
the day after is always just damage control
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
