; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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