So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
