I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
