Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
