y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Are my feet made of real feet?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
