i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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