I like my sex mixed with concussions.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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