Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
