Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
