just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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