Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
