Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
