I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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