Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
