i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
