I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
