weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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