i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
