He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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