Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
