just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
