i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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