I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize