My brain says no but my pants say off.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
