If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
