On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
