STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
