I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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