Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
