Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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