Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
