I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize