she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
