Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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