This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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