Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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