I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
