I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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