he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
