If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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