your room smells of hookers.
And success
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize