Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
