No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize