I feel great
I just peed on a car
Say something about gay babies.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
