Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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