She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Text me some of your sweat
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
