next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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