You really coming over, don't trick.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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