Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize