You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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