i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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