Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
