Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
