kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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