Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Oh god it's open bar.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
