well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
