Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
