the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
