just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
