I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
