You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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