ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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