Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
