is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
