Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
