she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
