This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
