girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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