would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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