she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
