My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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