it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
