Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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